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June 29, 2006

david and dora

While rereading David Copperfield, I was once again struck by David's fascination and love for Dora when his obvious match mentally and emotionally is Agnes. Not there there is anything wrong with Dora--she is loving and kind and certainly endeavors to become something better than she is--yet, it is very apparent that David cannot connect with or converse with Dora on level at which he can with Agnes. In fact, reading it as a more mature person than I was the previous time, it is obvious to me that his truly deep and founded love is not for Dora at all, but is from a very early time for Agnes. So what is it that draws David to Dora? Certainly her beauty has much to do with it, and combined with her lightness of person and the fact that his early meetings with her are all under lovely conditions rather than real world circumstance, I suppose that makes for powerful persuasion. Of course, not being a guy, I'm sure I don't have a total grasp of it all, but still. I suppose it strikes me at this point more than ever because of a situation I see unfolding before me. This one hits close to home for me as the young man concerned is one of my students. I have seen him learn to exercise his reason, to think through the facts presented and make applications, to ponder, to search out truth. I have heard him answer very reasonably why Dante, while breilliant, was in doctrinal error (perhaps you see one of the directions this is going already). Yet now, I see him making two unreasoned decisions and passionately persuing them. The first is, to me, the most important, exp. since I believe the second stems from this first: a desire to join the Catholic Church. Now, before I offend anyone, my wariness comes not so much from the desire itself (though I, personally, believe the RC deviates from scripture in some important areas)--his life is his own to direct. I understand that. My problem with this desire, and my disappointment with his choice, comes from the motivations. These motivations, though he lists them out as several points, boil down to this: an emotional response to several experiences that made him feel part of a group, and a belief that an encounter with Christ had everything to do with Liturgy rather than personal humility of spirit. I have neither seen nor heard any evidence pointing to him examining the doctrine and teachings of the RC and finding himself in agreement with them. In fact, he seems to have very little knowledge of what the Church teaches. That bothers me. The majority of his encounters with the RC have come from a charismatic youth retreat centered around experience and emotion rather than factual teaching. He even argued with my sister about the existence of more than one type of Catholic service (ie: traditional, charasmatic, orthodox Latin, etc.). His response to her query as to what type of congregation he was considering joining was, "There's only one Catholic Church." True on the surface, but charismatic Catholics are very different from the conservative Catholics who still prefer the high service in Latin. If he were making a reasoned, informed choice, I would be less anxious...but I believe I've already mentioned that.
The other decision more factually mirrors the David/Dora dilemna, but flows directly out of the above issue. He's met a girl. In fact, he met her at this year's retreat, a week ago. Suffice it to say he barely knows her. He's already asked her out. The reason he likes her is that she's "amazing." When asked what he likes about her, "She's amazing." You get the picture. I have a strong suspicion that one of the "amazing" things about her is her Catholicism. In fact, lately I have noticed a trend that the only girls he mentions as being really godly and loving God are Catholic girls. Granted, "amazing" girl may be great--but how can he know from a handful of conversations, mostly, apparently, about catholicism. It seems rather like he's latching on to her because she's there and catholic, and he is now rather obsessed with the ideal of the RC. Perhaps I'm overly worried. I don't know. I just hate to see one of my kids jumping out of the boat with no life-jacket and no real understanding of why. I sense a disillusioned end looming on the horizon. I could be wrong; but, I'm always nervous when reasoned thought is excluded from the decision making process. Especially in the realm of such important decisions.

June 19, 2006

the lake house

I adore movies that center around books. I do. One of the reasons I love You've Got Mail so much is that Pride and Prejudice is so central to the plot. Not that I don't like movies that aren't about books, but there is something...deeper about the ones that do. For me, anyway. Perhaps it is the reminder that some things are universal. This movie, The Lake House, features another Jane Austen title, Persuasion. It works beautifully. This movie is beautiful. The copy of Persuasion is beautiful. The characters are beautiful. Well, you get the picture. There are so many things to say about this movie, but so few the I can actually get away with without ruining th eexperience for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I'll just point out a few things that are insightful, true, enlightening:
Movies made/set in Chicago are fabulous. This movie shows the beauty and complexity of Chicago very nicely--even I, who have only been there once (thanks K&J for that one time), felt...there.
Movies that feature fabulous architecture are works of art just for that. The Lake House itself is amazing, as are the many Chicago buildings highlighted in the movie.
Movies with clips of Alfred Hitchcock films show wonderful insight by the director. In this case, it is Notorious.
Movies that make the audience applaud at the end are worth seeing twice. I'm going again next weekend.
I know that there are some scientific holes in this movie, but I think that's fitting. After all, science cannot unravel love, so why should a movie about love be perfect science. What is so lovely about this movie is the sparse technology that interferes, depite the contemporary time period. It reminds us that simplicity can still be found, and that love can sometimes best germinate in that simplicity. It also reminds us to embrace impossibility because sometimes we are surprised by the probablity of beauty and "rightness" within the most impossible of circumstances. What is most important is allowing ourselves to take the risk. This movie is about so many things, but I think what it most conveys is that true reward--true faery tales--never comes without being willing to risk. And, after all, isn't that what the best books try to show us?

June 09, 2006

bizarre

Warning: this is a very shallow post.

Completely random bizarre thing: I now have two white hairs. I noticed one a few months ago and, of course, have been tweezing it whenever I see it grow back in. Now, today, I noticed I have a second. (Not due to tweezing, as that is a myth and the second hair is in a different place.) Here is the bizarre part: they're in my eyebrows. I'm really weirded out by this. Are my eyebrows going to white before I even have a grey hair on my head? Why am I so weird? Sigh.

June 08, 2006

hmm. what to say.

Here's what I have learned in the last few months--particularly the last month--God made me a teacher. I suppose I should clarify. I'm a very capable secretary. I get things done. I like typing and I'm pretty good at it. I've learned a lot about the civil judicial system and how to write legal documents. My heart aches at the thought of not having any students next year. The day after my last co-op I was so glad that Oscar came in late, because when Joann, the other secretary, asked me about it being my last class I burst into tears. Yeah. Mom thinks I might jsut be in withdrawal. I think she just likes the idea of my having a secure job with a guaranteed paycheck. It isn't that I don't like this job. I like it fine. The thing is, it's just a job. Teaching is definitely my vocation. This leaves me with various questions about what I should do with myself. At this point in time, I've agreed to work for Oscar until next May--it helps with the salary issue. So...do I look for another teaching job for 07 in another state? Or, do I apply to U of Glasgow for the MA in Dramaturgy? Or do I look for another teaching job in a University town and apply for PhD part-time? Or what????????????? I hate questions about the future. And I realize that none of these questions needs to be answered immediately, but I can't help trying to figure it out so I'll know what I'm doing. What I do know is that I am using my fairly nice salary to save up for the downpayment on a house wherever I end up. Sigh.
On a different note, on the last day of World Lit we watched almost all (I skipped some uneeded scenes due to time constraints) of Depardieu's Cyrano de Bergerac. I always forget what an amazing actor he is until I watch him again. Phenominal performance. And an amazingly beautiful movie. I only had one glitch, and it's so very silly. At the very end of the play, Roxanne doesn't say, "I have only loved one man, and now I have lost him twice;" and Cyrano says, "My panache" rather than "my white plume." I know, I know. The true word is probably panache, but I love that line. At any rate, one thing I adore is viewing a film in class and at the end, the students remark how great it is--they really liked this one. In English Lit, we watched Death on the Nile. that was a pretty big hit, too. A little depressing, but they definitley enjoyed the puzzle of it all. I thought it was a good end to the class because as a novel, it incorporates much of what British Literature--and the popular British novel--was int he Twentieth Century. And as an A&E film, it was a well-done adaptation. I have many thoughts and feelings that I want to write about this past year, my heart at another end to another school term, but I can't get them out right now. I think I need to reflect on it a little more.
New thought. My baby sister graduated high school. Wow. I think she's a little overwhelmed at the thought of life opening before her. But then again, aren't we all still at times? She's also a little...frustrated that she is graduating high school and no boys like her. I know that sounds shallow--but I think it's hard to reach a milestone like that and wonder why you can't find a guy that cares for you. It's hard for me to see. There is one guy in particular that she cares for, but he's having his own struggle right now that does not include noticing a friend. I wish I could help, but I know if I got too involved, I'd just stick my foot in it. Not helpful. And it isn't like I have all the answers. :) Ah well. I think she's amazing and beautiful. I'm so glad she's my sister, and that's she's winning in life.
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