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November 21, 2006

shadows in my heart

I don't really have a thoughtful post today. This is just a rather rare spillage post. I am feeling so down today. I don't really know why, although my very strong guess is that it's a hormonally driven down-ness. And I hate that. I hate that my emotions are in any way controlled by the balance of my chemical makeup at any given time. I hate that I am now going through my day trying not to be impatient with people who don't deserve my impatience because I'm a female. I hate that the most mundane things provoke me to tears for no reason other than my body is telling me that they are the end of the world. And the problem with this office job is that it is so much easier to drop the guard that keeps me from being the word that rhymes with witch when there are so few people around. In a classroom, there is enough distraction to survive the hormonal days. In this office, there isn't always. Probably I also need some sleep. Probably it would have been a better day had the headline this morning not been a story about an impatient teenager cutting off a school bus, thus causing the death of three of his fellow students. I've just had that on my heart all day.

I think I need the time to have a good cry.

November 18, 2006

song that hurts

Although I must admit to a certain liking for hip-hop and rap music, I don't often listen to it as so much of it objectifies women (even songs by female artist, unfortunately) and glorifies the idea that love=sex. Thus, I enjoy it when a rap performer rises above the usual stories being told and tells a story of worth. Tonight on SNL Ludacris performed this song. It made my heart ache. And I'm glad to see him tackle tough topics in a way that shows compassion for women. I wish more of the artists and musicians labelled Christian were as willing to show the rawness of life, rather than so often sounding like a Dayspring card. Anyway.

"Runaway Love"
(feat. Mary J. Blige)

[Hook - Mary J. Blige]
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love

[Verse 1 - Ludacris]
Now little lisa is only 9 years old
Shes tryin to figure out why the world is so cold
Why shes all all alone and they never met her family
Mamas always gone and she never met her daddy
Part of her is missin and nobody will listenin
Mama is on drugs gettin high up in the kitchen
Bringin home men at different hours of the night
Startin with laughs--usually endin in a fight
Sneak into her room while her mamas knocked out
Tryin to have his way and little lisa says 'ouch'
She tries to resist but then all he does is beat her
Tries to tell her mom but her mama don't believe her
Lisa is stuck up in the world on her own
Forced to think that hell is a place called home
Nothin else to do but some get some clothes and pack
She says shes bout to run away and never come back.

[Hook - Mary J. Blige]
Runaway love [x8]

[Verse 2 - Ludacris]
Little nicole is only 10 years old
Shes steady tryin to figure why the world is so cold
Why shes not pretty and nobody seems to like her
Alcoholic step dad always wanna strike her
Yells and abuses, leaves her with some bruises
Teachers ask questions she makin up excuses
Bleedin on the inside, cryin on the out
Its only one girl really knows what she about
Her name is lil stacy and they become friends
Promise that they always be tight til the end
Until one day lil stacy gets shot
A drive by bullet went stray up on her block
Now nicole stuck up in the world on her own
Forced to think that hell is a place called home
Nothin else to do but some get some clothes and pack
She says shes bout to run away and never come back.

[Hook - Mary J. Blige]
Runaway love [x8]

[Verse 3 - Ludacris]
Little erica is eleven years old
Shes steady tryin to figure why the world is so cold
So she pops x to get rid of all the pain
Cause shes havin sex with a boy whos sixteen
Emotions run deep and she thinks shes in love
So theres no protection hes usin no glove
Never thinkin bout the consequences of her actions
Livin for today and not tomorrows satisfaction
The days go by and her belly gets big
The father bails out he aint ready for a kid
Knowin her mama will blow it all outta proportion
Plus she lives poor so no money for abortion
Erica is stuck up in the world on her own
Forced to think that hell is a place called home
Nothin else to do but get her clothes and pack
She say shes about to run away and never come back.

[Hook - Mary J. Blige]
Runaway love [repeats]

November 16, 2006

just for fun--like stretchy pants

So after reading Jesse's blog, I usually check out the "Compacts" on the side. Maily because I'm a random information nerd. At any rate, I just had to post this one in case other people aren't so much into checking out the "Compacts." It's very, very funny. Our family favourites have always been #21, #33, and #35. We like #33 so much, we always love to point it out whenever we see it in a movie or t.v. show.

So go have a laugh on this Thrusday morning. And then take some time to enter the television discussion in the post below. :)

November 13, 2006

television and the short story

Thanks for the comments on my last post. Michael, I was glad for a little more historical insight than I had. I think both you and Jesse hit the central issue that people have when dealing with television: we have a avery visible reminder of who its sponsors are. That isn't to say that films aren't sponsored--they most certainly are, typically by whatever products you see artfully panned over in the course of the film--but where television is concerned, we can't really ignore it. I have friends who are severe movie fans, and who attend and perform in various and sundry stage performances, and yet fervently proclaim they "hate t.v." This has, more and more, come to seem to me as a false dichotomy. So here are my thoughts on the matter.

For centuries, entertainment and literary endeavours centered solely around the written word and the live performance of the written word. During those centuries, there were typically two types of literature: really long (epic poems, full-length plays, novels) and short (narrative and lyric poems, one-act plays, short stories). With the advent of the twentieth century a new form of entertainment was introduced: the radio. Radio then ushered in the age of motion picture technology and finally the television set. Somewhere along the line, film became an accepted form of artistic endeavour while television has largely, in America at least, remained marginalized. (Michael's comment on last post gives a great summary of one reason why) Typically the reasons given are that television is commercialized, that television writers are hacks, that television shows are shallow and don't tackle philosophical matter, that television characters are not well developed, that television is an artistic sell-out. My problem with every one of those arguments is that they can just as easily apply to any other artistic realm as well as they can apply to television.

Television is a commercial endeavour--it has to be. Without commercial sponsors, there isn't any money. The same is true for any other art form. Plays have corporate sponsors and advertising sponsors listed in the program. Broadway plays have pages of ads in their programs, yet they don't receive criticism for being commercialized. I would guess the reason is two-fold: it is already accepted as art, and we still have to buy a ticket. Movies, which are gaining acceptance as art--some film great enough to be labelled "classic" already--are also sponsored commercially. Previews are ads. That's not counting the actual ads that often play before the previews. Often, products are highlighted in movies--ever notice how many of the computers are Macs? How many people drink Coca-cola? Even visual art must appeal to buyers or the artist cannot support himself. All art contains a certain measure of commercialism if it is to be successful.

For the sake of space--and because the rest of the criticism are similar--I'll combine the rest as a single issue: Television produces a lower quality product that doesn't challenge the audience to tackle weighty matters. Here comes my one allowance of sarcasm: because all other art forms at all other times have always produced high quality pieces that constantly challenge the audience with weighty ideas. Sure. I've read Restoration plays--they make todays raunchiest sit-coms look prudish and high quality. Seriously. The fact is that all artistic and entertainment expression has many levels of product. Yes, some shows are ridiculous and come nowhere near the bar of "art." But the same is true for many novels, plays, even visual art works. That, to me, is no reason to throw out an entire genre as worthless. I understand that it is easier to pin the label "art" or "classic" on a movie because it's a single package--a piece of artistic communication that can be watched in a single sitting and evaluated. It is seamless, allowing a particular idea or event to be examined and weighed deeply at a single time. Television does not have that advantage. For that reason, a well-crafted television show, to me, deserves even more respect. Television writers have a shorter time-frame in which to present ideas and events while holding the audience's attention through commercial breaks. That is not an easy task. They don't have a huge screen on which to unfold their events which limits the awe and emotional attachment response that they can produce. And even with the advantages of working with film, how many films have you been to see with expectation that completely let you down? And how many films are just about creating some cheap laughs. The product is solely the result of who is producing it, not where it appears.

I am completely convinced that as we move more and more into an age of digital media, television, not just film, needs to be given credence as a legitimate art form. Not that all television will rise to the form of "art" or "classic" any more than all plays or novels will. If we accept the film as the digital equivalent to the novel, the epic, the full-length play, then I think we ought to consider the medium of television as the digital equivalent of the short-story, the narrative, the one-act play. If we can look at short stories as legitimate pieces of literature that have something to say, then why can we not accept television in that way? Frankly, much of what we consider "classic" today was written for entertainment; and in the cases of some novels, was even serialized with sponsors (Dickens...). I would not find it surprising if 100 years from now, television series were looked on in the same manner--as a 20th/21st century literary form. Don't get me wrong, not all television is good literature (Yes, Dear--ick), but some of it downright brilliant (The Office, yay). I just think t.v ought to be given the fair shake that most of us are more than willing to give to film.

Sorry, this is rather longer than I intended. Oh well. I'm not reading it. :) At any rate, I would certainly welcome some more thoughts on the matter. And perhaps what shows you think ought to be considered as future classics and why?

November 01, 2006

small tidbits of existence

I'm a very tired girl today. Frankly, I don't have anything much of import to share, but I felt that it had been so long since I had posted that I ought to post. I suppose I am posting due to guilt trip.

I wore wings yesterday. It was fun. Every girl should have a pair, just for fun. Like stretchy pants.

I have been fighting off a migraine since yesterday. I hate this. The fact that I am able to function makes people assume that my migraine isn't all that much, but it is. Mainly I'm just too obstinate to give in to the pain and the nausea. Also, I strongly appreciate the help of Excedrin Migraine.

I have a number of thoughts mulling around in my mind waiting for me to express them here. I haven't gotten that far. My brain is pretty much drained by the end of the day. One of the biggest differences I've noticed being a secretary as opposed to being a teacher is that I'm drained without the joy. Teaching is incredibly draining, but the students so often put a joy back into me that it's a good drained, a good tired. I don't get that here. I'm just drained. Usually, I also don't want to talk to anyone when I get home, either. I don't like that very much. When I was having a bad day as a teacher, I always got encouragement from students, sometimes words, sometimes hugs, sometimes pictures that said "I love you, Miss D." I miss that. I don't get any of that when I'm having a bay day now. I just have to suck it up and try not to be witchy. I don't like that. Oh well. I have just less than 6 months left. I can handle that. :)

One of the things that I'm ruminating on is television. I've been thinking a good deal about it because of comments people make about not watching television, hating television, television is low-brow, etc. So I started wondering: why? Why do some of the same people that will watch a movie and consider it a form of art, reject television out of hand? I will refrain from expounding on my position until I have more coherence and less nerve pain, but what do y'all think? Lest I ruffle any feathers, I am thinking of no one in particular, I'm just reacting to a collage of comments that I have heard or read or gathered--some from people I've never met--that started me down the path to examining what makes people dismiss the medium of television. Any answers?