" /> A Day In The Journey: March 2007 Archives

« February 2007 | Main | April 2007 »

March 20, 2007

feeling derailed

Do you ever feel that you aren't where you thought you would be in life? That somehow the goals you had were set aside and forgotten? I feel like that today...well, the last few days...and it troubles me. And it isn't particularly that I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish by now, or a particular place where I wished to be, but there were things I loved--do love--that I thought I would be doing. Or at least have done, or working towards doing.

I've had this quagmire of thought before. This time it has struck with more force because of the band we met last week, and the blues singer they opened for at the fabulous House of Blues last Thursday. [pause for brief and shameless plug: Reeve Carney and the Revolving Band and Jonny Lang are both worth a good, long listen, guys. They are good.] Here's the thing: These guys are all under the age of 26. Even the exceptional Mr. Lang. All of them are doing what they love, and doing it very well. I, on the other hand, have done very little of what I love.

It's not that I don't know what's holding me back. I'm very aware that I'm so afraid. I'm terribly afraid of having doors slammed in my face, of losing just when I think I've almost accomplished a dream. I didn't used to be this afraid. Maybe part of it is cynicism, but then, I'm not sure when I became any kind of a cynic.

So I need to finish my story. I need to try and see if I can get it published. I need to take a step. You can't touch the stars of your dreams if you keep standing flat-footed, right?

And I really miss my car. A Dodge Caravan just doesn't go so well with my Yellowcard.

March 15, 2007

smash up

The worst sound in the world: phone calls at three a.m. It's so hard to believe it's been over a year. It still hits me every so often. If anyone ever calls me in the middle of the night for any reason other than dire emergency, they won't forget the consequences.

The second worst sound in the world (and the reason for this post): one car colliding with another. If that wasn't on my list of sounds that should be banned from radio commercials, it should be. It's a terrible, terrible sound. The first time I realized how awful that sound is I was not driving the car. My grandmother was. Some guy ran a stop sign and smashed into us. This time I was driving. In fact, I was a mere block from the office yesterday morning when it happened. I glanced over at a dump truck parked on the side of the road. I looked back to see a small minivan had stopped at the intersection about 100 feet from where I was currently cruising at 40mph. I hit the brakes. No. I didn't just hit the brakes. --small pause: here's what I should have done--tap the brakes and pull rapidly into the parking lot to my right.-- Here's what I did: slam on the brakes. Here's the problem: I don't have ABS. Here's what happened: the brakes locked and thanks to the fact that it had been raining all morning, there was no friction to stop the skidding car. --second small pause: here's what I should have done now--pull the e-brake.-- In the following 1.5 seconds of panic (there is nothing like the panic of knowing you cannot control your vehicle and you will hit the vehicle stopped in front of you), I did not have the time or the presence of mind to grab the e-brake. Thus, I plowed right into the back of a stopped red Mitsubishi minivan.

Cons: I felt so badly for hitting that lady. It was my fault for not paying enough attention and not reacting as well as I could have--as well as I have in other, more unavoidable, near-collision situations.
Cons: It was raining the whole time.
Cons: I couldn't stop crying.
Cons: My car is very broken.
Cons: See above.
Cons: My neck hurts a lot. I hope the lady I hit feels better than I do.
Cons: The hood of my car was crunched up to the front wheel wells.
Cons: The front of engine was angled back into itself in a manner relative to above.
Cons: I could get sued.

Pros: The lady I hit was very nice. Had she swooped out the car and been a witch-on-wheels, it would have gotten really ugly.
Pros: Her son was equally nice, and had recently been in an accident himself.
Pros: NO ticket was written. (Thank you BR City Police)
Pros: Full collision coverage.
Pros: Only a $500.00 deductible.
Pros: Great insurance agent.
Pros: Great body shop.
Pros: The only thing that hurts is my upper back and neck. It could've been so much worse.
Pros: No one hit me from behind.
Pros: Apparently., my hood is supposed to look like that after a front-impact collision. It did what it was supposed to.
Pros: My headlights were still working.
Pros: The other lady's car just had a dented back bumper, and her radio popped out of the dash. Maybe she won't sue.
Pros: If she does sue, I know a good lawyer.

So. My baby goes to the body shop today. I suppose I'll find out soon if it's "repairable" or not. Or if the repairs will be too much to make it worth it. I want it to be "repairable." After all, this car is paid for. I like that feeling. I don't particularly want to lose it. I like my car.

March 06, 2007

a fragment of elsadore

Part one: Princess Elsadore

“Goodness gracious!” came the exclamation. “What happened to you?”

Princess Elsadore squished her toe into the carpet and did not look into Nurse’s eyes.

“Well? If you think you can avoid answering just by looking at the floor, you’d better keep thinking.”

Elsadore sighed. Without looking up, she explained. “We were doing lessons outside and while Tutor was talking I looked over and saw a frog hopping along and I followed it but I didn’t pay enough attention and I followed it right into Papa’s pond.”

Nurse gazed rather placidly, yet slightly sternly, at the girl was she fled through her description.

“Well, that explains the water, but what about the mud and dirt?” Nurse was tapping her foot just the barely a little.

“You see, Nurse, the bottom of the pond is mainly very muddy and my feet squished in and then I fell again and then one more time and when I finally got the edge”--she took a deep breath--“I tipped right over the little wall and fell flat on my front in the dirt path.”

Nurse sighed and shook her head, but Elsadore could see the teeniest but of a smile at the corners of her mouth. Finally, she turned and went into the bathroom calling, “Trina!” as she went. In a few minutes, a nice warm bath was drawn just for Elsadore.

While she took a grand soak in the tub, Nurse went bustling to find Tutor.

“Nurse, I am deeply sorry. I tried to warn her about the pond, but she just didn’t hear me.”

“Ah, but the question remains: why was she chasing a frog during the middle of your lesson?”

“Well, to be fair, I was going over the Age of Quietness. It really isn’t the most exciting….And I suppose I was just a little engrossed in reading Phineas’ description of King Edgert the Peaceful…”

“Oh. Well. That makes the whole scenario just okay.” Nurse pursed her lips. After staring down the poor flustered young man for a moment, she relented. “Tutor, I realize that you are fervent about your lessons; but, you must also be fervently attentive to what Her Miss is doing. She is a bundle of mischief, and your responsibility.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Nurse didn’t have the heart to remind him that he had said the same thing last week after Elsadore had wandered to the Library window and let in a startling number of pidgeons. She sighed, shook her head, and walked back to Elsdaore’s room just in time to remove her from her grand soak.

Nurse folded Princess Elsadore into her lap, still wrapped in her large, warm towel.

“Now. Missy, what are we going to do with you? Hmm?”

“You could tell me a story, Nurse.” She sat up and turned to Nurse. “I wish Tutor would tell the History the way you tell stories. Then it might be less boring.” She collapsed back onto Nurse. “I know I would listen better then.”

Nurse chuckled. “That may be, my dear; but, you really should choose to pay better attention anyway. Tutor works very hard on those lessons. No story now—it’s almost supper time and we must get you ready.”

“Supper!”

Downstairs at supper, Elsadore’s father beckoned her over.

“My dear Elsadore, I have heard a story that cannot possibly be true.”

Elsadore looked at her feet.

“Look at my face, Elsadore. I’m speaking to you.” King Sacha’s eyes twinkled through his stern face.

“Yes, papa.” Elsadore looked up.

“Well, my dear? Is the story true?”

Elsdaore twiddled her toe on the floor. “yes, Papa, it’s true. But the lesson was so boring and there was a frog and the frog was so interesting and it looked at me and I just had to follow it.”

“A frog, eh? Well, I do agree with you that frogs are extremely interesting. Even so, Tutor spends a lot of time preparing his lessons. Is he more important to you than the frog?”

“Yes, papa.”

“Then, you should pay more attention to Tutor than the frog, my dear.”

“Yes, papa.” Elsadore hugged her father and raced back to her chair to enjoy the lovely supper.

...to be continued. (c)2007 by Renee Doiron

March 03, 2007

baton rouge drivers are generally morons

The following people should have their driver's licenses revoked:
*people who speed to the end of the on-ramp/merging lane, come to a complete stop, then expect one of the people who followed the road signs earlier to allow them in, glaring at people who do not.
*people who honk at the driver in front of them when said driver stops long enough to politely allow in a driver wishing to turn onto the road.
*people who pull across an intersection knowing full well they will never make it through do to the traffic and the fact that light is yellow, thus blocking off the entire intersection for all of the other cars until the next cycle.
*people who speed around cars that are slowing to turn nearly causing the death of drivers who were using that slow-to-turn in order to effect their own turn.
*people who speed directly up to your rear bumper and then flash their lights as though expecting you to move over even though it's absolutely impossible for you to move over due to the three cars and the 18-wheeler that are occupying the expanse of lane next to you.

The following sounds should be banned from radio advertisements:
*any and all emergency vehicle souns/sirens
*any and all collision sounds
*honking noises

Can you tell it's been a bad week for driving around here?