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July 19, 2008

whirlwind

So my parents and my sister and I had a whirlwind trip this week. 1,583 miles round trip, four days gone, 1 brother graduated.

My brother has been gone the past 9 weeks for basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. He's now fully immersed in the Army National Guard. And loves it. So we drove over there for his graduation from basic and then dropped him off at Fort Rucker in Alabama on our way home. He's doing 7 weeks of aeronautics training there. It was so great to see him again and meet some of his battle buddies...well, really, his brothers. I'm so proud of him.

ben in afc's.jpg
My brother in ACU's.

ben and the warriors.jpg
My brother and some of his fellow warriors from 3-13th Infantry, F company, 1st Platoon.

beni grad.jpg
The Battalion in formation on the parade grounds for graduation.

ben and me copy.jpg
My brother and me after graduation. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture that shows the fabulously shiny shoes he was wearing with his Class B's.

So there you have a summary of what I've been doing since Wednesday at 6.30 am. It was a great trip, and I'm so proud of him. He's a great brother, and a great man.

June 06, 2008

D-Day

On the morning of June 6th, 1984...the fortieth anniversary of the storming of Normandy, President Ronald Reagan stood at Pointe Du Hoc and made this speech. It is long, but it is worth your moments. Do not forget the lives that were lost on foreign soil to defend liberty. It is their legacy we must continue to uphold.

We're here to mark that day in history when the Allied armies joined in battle to reclaim this continent to liberty. For four long years, much of Europe had been under a terrible shadow. Free nations had fallen, Jews cried out in the camps, millions cried out for liberation. Europe was enslaved, and the world prayed for its rescue. Here in Normandy the rescue began. Here the Allies stood and fought against tyranny in a giant undertaking unparalleled in human history.

We stand on a lonely, windswept point on the northern shore of France. The air is soft, but 40 years ago at this moment, the air was dense with smoke and the cries of men, and the air was filled with the crack of rifle fire and the roar of cannon. At dawn, on the morning of the 6th of June, 1944, 225 Rangers jumped off the British landing craft and ran to the bottom of these cliffs. Their mission was one of the most difficult and daring of the invasion: to climb these sheer and desolate cliffs and take out the enemy guns. The Allies had been told that some of the mightiest of these guns were here and they would be trained on the beaches to stop the Allied advance.

The Rangers looked up and saw the enemy soldiers--the edge of the cliffs shooting down at them with machine guns and throwing grenades. And the American Rangers began to climb. They shot rope ladders over the face of these cliffs and began to pull themselves up. When one Ranger fell, another would take his place. When one rope was cut, a Ranger would grab another and begin his climb again. They climbed, shot back, and held their footing. Soon, one by one, the Rangers pulled themselves over the top, and in seizing the firm land at the top of these cliffs, they began to seize back the continent of Europe. Two hundred and twenty-five came here. After two days of fighting, only 90 could still bear arms.

Behind me is a memorial that symbolizes the Ranger daggers that were thrust into the top of these cliffs. And before me are the men who put them there. ...

Continue reading "D-Day" »

May 13, 2008

it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

I apologize for the lack of posting. Life has been hectic and weird. School is almost out, so right now is kind of like a weird maelstrom before the calm. We may all survive. Maybe. I had a two-mom-in-two-day showdown last week. And the Main Mom has been nitpicking me ever since. But I'm at the point where I just couldn't care less. That's probably not a good thing. I'm just so tired of her that not caring has become the preferable option to telling her exactly what I think. The downsides of teaching can be exponential in some circumstances. Good thing the upsides are almost always exponential.

In other news, my brother left for boot camp this morning. I miss him already. Seven months without my brother will be a very weird experience. Sigh. Keep him in your prayers if you could.

Well, that's about all I have at the moment. I will renew my posting vigour when school is finally out. And I've caught up on nine months of sleep. haha

April 10, 2008

of arms and mattresses

Somewhere there is a clip (that I wish I could find) from one of Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up routines about a mattress. Specifically, he calls our attention to the practice of tying a mattress to the roof of a car to move it, and then holding on to it with your arm. Because of course, if the tie-down job should prove insufficient at highway speeds, the average guy will be able to hang on to said mattress with his arm. Of course, when he puts it that way, you can see the ridiculousness of holding onto the mattress with your arm. Right?

Today, my dad was listening to the New Orleans traffic report and just had to share it with me. This afternoon, the traffic over the Mississippi river bridge was backed up to kingdom come. "Why?" you ask. Because of two large mattresses blocking all the lanes. Apparently, two guys had laid the mattresses on top of their car and then proceeded to attempt a drive over the bridge--you guessed it--holding them down with their arms. Seinfeld comedy routines should now be classified under "Educational Material."

March 07, 2008

thought for the day

So I was watching The Simpsons tonight when I heard an incredibly profound statement. Actually, the entire episode was very profound, but this statement just leaped out at me and I thought it worth sharing:
No little girl can be happy unless she has faith in her father.

That is a simple, yet deeply true statement. And in it is the key to so many insecurities and struggles of women and girls today. Take a minute and just ponder that. That's all.

February 20, 2008

menagerie of days

I don't have anything incredibly profound to say, but I felt like it was time to update something around here. School is going well, overall. Of course there are always bumps along the way since it involves dealing with 6th grade humans and 7/8 grade aliens. I never ceases to amaze me how an 8th grade boy can completely turn his entire brain off. For instance, two of the 8th grade boys earned a detention on Monday for passing notes back and forth in class (last hour, no less) about how mean and evil and strict, etc. the teacher sitting in the room is. She was sitting in the room. And could hear them. Hello? (The inability of said 8th graders to actually whisper is also a bizarre phenomena). So they served their detention, part of which was scrubbing urinals. Yes. Gotta love it. This job required wearing gloves, which they then decided to place inside the backpack of one of the 7th grade boys. What on earth? Needless to say, they earned a second detention. I'm not sure exactly what else they expected to come out of that. Sigh. It keeps life interesting, if nothing else.

I managed to catch a cold last week, also. I hadn't had a cold in years...I've had two this year. The first was manageable. This one hit me like a truck. I started sneezing on a Friday morning, by Friday night I was pretty much down for the count. Of course, I exacerbated the situation by driving to Lake Charles and back (2 hours each way) to do stats for the basketball teams. So I spent the weekend in bed. Monday dawned nearly voiceless. But I struggled through. By Tuesday, I was considering going to the doctor...which I never do. The other 5-8 teacher looked at me Tuesday afternoon and told the secretary to send around an email asking for a substitute for Wednesday. haha! So I got to go home early that day. At any rate, I struggled through last week with almost no voice, and coughing almost continuously. The kids now think I enjoy torture. I'm finally on the mend, but the 80% of my voice that has returned apparently makes me sound like Miley Cyrus. That has caused heretofore unknown hilarity among the ranks of students. It is pretty funny.

Other than that, life has been ... well, life. I finally read Crime and Punishment, my first ever Russian novel. It's a great read. It's already in the queue for a second read. Then I countered the deep book with Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep. Everybody needs a little noir every now and then, after all. And as usual, just when it seems that life is simple and manageable, complication comes to overwhelm my heart. But, it's just another reminder of Who I must trust, Who I must approach with my heart, with my complications, hurts, and joys. The result of all that personal complication, though, is less thoughtful blog posts. haha! It is those complications, and how we find our ways through them that molds us into who He wants us to be, though. It seems so hard to see that, but I just choose to know that it is Truth no matter how I feel about it in the moment. Eventually, it trickles down to change my feelings. Perhaps one day I'll be sanctified enough to move through that circle in ever rarer cycles. Perhaps.

So there's my life right now. Feel free to comment. It's interactive. :-D

January 31, 2008

ghostly phantoms

How often do you find yourself facing the spectres of your past experiences? I find this happens just about when I start getting comfortable with who I am. Perhaps that's because my spectres are directly related to my self-perception...particularly my self-perception as it relates to other people. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this. Other people have different spectres, but surely you've faced this, yourself. You've found yourself in a moderately comfortable place, perhaps not simple or easy, but fulfilling and comfortable. With me, it's typically a relationship. Not necessarily a relationship per se, but just a place of relating with another person. I'll be in a good place there when suddenly something happens, or some things happen, that awaken the past. Rejections come back to haunt me, past friends who just drifted away despite assurances otherwise float in front of my eyes. The kicker is that usually this new situation bears little resemblance to those of the past. Do you find that in your life? The situation that awakens the ghosts of the past is, when viewed rationally, not at all the same, but something about it lends energy to the ghosts. How do you face them? How do you react?

I'm finding more and more that it is a conscious battle. Silencing the spectres requires me to make a forceful decision about where I'm placing my hope and expectation. It requires me to choose to trust that other person, particularly when I know that the parts of the situation that have the most power to shake that trust are completely out of that other person's control. Trust doesn't come easy for me. Not trust in others nor trust in God and His work in my life. There are reasons for that. Some reasons attached to the ghosts of the past, and some not. It is so difficult and so exhausting to stop listening to those ghosts. To cognitively place my trust, my hope, my expectation in my truest Friend, Companion, Lover. It is a struggle. Perhaps the struggle seems greater because the rational decision to trust does not necessarily reflect itself in "feeling better." I know, and in these situations you probably do as well, that the spectres are still there, still under the surface, just waiting for another excuse to show themselves. Perhaps these struggles to overcome the ghosts of our past are part of "taking up our cross daily," of being a living sacrifice. Perhaps.

January 24, 2008

stream of consciousness

I have no real topic today, but rather a number of random thoughts that have come to my mind. Just thought I'd share.

1) My brother joined the National Guard yesterday. He might be leaving for basic training on Wednesday. He's never been away from home for more than two weeks before. The house will be...odd without him.

2) The 6th grade girls are on a mission to sneakily deprive me of my coloured white board markers and substitute black ones in their place. So far, every attempt to force me to write with a lack marker has failed.

3) Cold, rainy days make me want to stay in bed. Instead I have to get up at 5.30. Not quite the same.

4) My sister broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. She didn't tell me. I found out from someone else. Also the fact that he came straight to our house after work. And then left before 9.

5) I upgraded my cell phone a couple of weeks ago. I really like it.

6) Inside recess is loud. For some reason the girls are chasing people around. And one of the boys is fending them off with a used Kleenex. Yes, that is life in the 5th/6th grade.

7) Both nights of basketball games this week are away...over an hour away. That's tiring. But I like my 'job' enough to do it. :-)

8) Teaching numerous subjects leads to desk messiness.

9) Apparently the idea of my love life is unbelievably more fascinating than anything else in the life of 6th graders.

10) We're studying the Battle of Little Bighorn this week. It always saddens me. I know that other countries and peoples have just a harsh a history of feeling superior and thus justifying unethical treatment of other groups. But that doesn't make our history any easier to study.

That's all I've got for today.

January 21, 2008

oh, dog, thou companion of man

In the midst of one of my favorite Will Ferrel scenes, this homage to Shakespeare appears. I just had to share. Of course you must read with the "overly dramatic Shakespeare voice."

Where art thou, dog?
Thy canine lover.
Where is your hot breath upon the nape of my neck?
We shall form a bond of brotherhood: man and beast.
You shall lick my face, and I shall lick your snout.

December 26, 2007

unforseen

subtle, this quiet catlike entrance,
unexpectedly moving me to
run and throw open all the doors i've been
protecting for so long. i'm left
reeling, unsure of myself,
intently trying to understand the 'how' and 'why.'
surely there must be a reason
i can uncover with this diligent introspection.
nothing. just this intricate landscape of
glaring vulnerability from which i cannot hide.

November 03, 2007

the year of the natural disaster movie

So this afternoon I was cleaning my room (that sounds so high school, ha ha!), and Dante's Peak was playing on t.v. I had never watched it before. I purposefully avoided the Year of the Natural Disaster Movie. Maybe it was more like two years. You remember: the succession of movies about meteorites destroying the earth, or tornadoes beyond anything we've every seen, or volocanoes destroying the earth. You remember. But today I watched it. It was on. I was cleaning. It sucked me in to find out what happens. And hey, it has Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton. But I did learn a few things from my viewing. Some of them I had learned from other action movies in the past and were just reinforced by watching Dante's Peak. Others, though, were new information for me. I thought it advisable for anyone who might find themselves in danger of imminent death-by-volcanoe.

1. Volcanoes are dangerous.
2. Volcanoe experts are more perceptive if a loved one died in a volcanoe emergency.
3. Hot springs near a dormant volcanoe can kill you.
4. When a volcanoe is about to erupt, it will give plants and animals mysterious illnesses.
5. The mayor of a small, struggling town never listens to dire warnings of disaster,
6. Dire warnings of disaster always threaten small, struggling towns.
7. Volcanologists are dashing and single-mother Mayors will fall for them.
8. When a volcanoe is about to erupt, it will make the tap water brown.
9. When a volcanoe is about to erupt, you should go inspect the town water supply and see if it is also brown. Also, if it smells like sulphur, run!
10. You should always drive a big truck; that way, when you are evacuating, you can drive through everyone else.
11. Single mothers always have spunky children.
12. Judicious application of the brake and gas is all you need to avoid a crashing helicopter.
13. Don't fly a helicopter through falling ash.
14. A disaster is a good time to reconcile with your estranged ex-mother-in-law.
15. Spunky children already know how to drive a car, just not what all the buttons do.
16. When you see a lava flow coming, run to water.
17. Volcanic activity turns lakes into acid, so always have an extra motor. And drive fast.
18. Do not jump out of the boat and try to make it to land. Especially when you've watched the metal boat melting underneath you. You will die.
19. Dying moments are cathartic--be sure to confess your foolishness and apologize if you are the one dying. If you are not the one dying, be sure to protest said confession and confess your own foolishness.
20. When you need it, you always find a large, heavy duty truck to use for escaping a volcanic eruption.
21. Dashing volanologists always know how to hot-wire a vehicle.
22. You can drive across a lava flow as long as you speed up enough, and you are driving aforesaid heavy duty truck.
23. A lava flow will cause your tires to catch on fire, but when you drive across the ash on the other side, they will extinguish.
24. You can drive on the crumpled rims of aforesaid melted tires for a long time. As long as you need to, really.
25. Disaster scientists are always conveniently working on a new, extra-special gadget that will turn out to be a life-saver.
26. When escaping a pyroclastic cloud, there will always be a convenient mineshaft into which you can drive.
27. Promises of a quiet house in Florida filled with good food and a launching point for fishing trips will quiet all fears of small children and single mothers.
28. If you leave aforementioned extra-special gadget in the heavy duty truck when you escape the cave in at the entrance of the mineshaft, you will have to go back for it risking death by rock-crushing.
29. If the extra-special gadget fails to turn on, highly educated volcanologists solve that problem by kicking it.
30. After being rescued from a cave in, the only emergency care you will need is a blanket.

There you go: all you need to survive an imminent volcanic eruption. I hope you never need it, but just in case....

June 25, 2007

bother

What do you do when you say yes to a date with someone to whom you feel you ought to give a chance, but you already know there just isn't a vibe there? I don't like worrying about this. I know--for various reasons--that there's a low expectation for this date. But I also know that it probably isn't going to change the way I feel. Especially since I have a crush on someone else. I know--a crush isn't anything. But I'm also fairly certain this guy that I said yes to has no clue what I'm really like--what he would really be getting himself into. Also, I think he's kind of boring. So. How do I do this thing? How do I make this friendly, yet clear that I think we should just be friends? And why do I feel the necessity of giving this guy a chance when I'm not particularly interested? Of course, it could be debatable that since I have a gut feeling where I already stand on this, I'm not really giving him a chance. Also, I suck at small-talk. This could be interesting. Thanks for letting me vent. Have a great evening.

*******update: Totally not all that exciting. The date was pleasant. His comment on Marlowe's Faust: i was kind of shocked when we started reading it; but, then by the end i could kind of see his point, so it was okay. So, you guys know how deep the conversation went, right? It was all nice conversation, but the few times I delved beyond what amounted to small talk, he just really didn't have anything to contribute. So, good experience as far as re-entering the dating realm; no second date will be granted. Thanks for the words of wisdom, all. I took it all to heart. Went to the coffee shop early and worked on lesson plans so I was calm and relaxed. Was friendly, but not encouraging/flirtatious. So. There you go. Here's to hoping for more interesting and exciting dates in the future. *cheers*

June 20, 2007

people are so delusional

So, the Undersecretary General of the UN thinks that Cuba is an example for the world. Probably because she thinks she'd be in the upper tier.

So tell me, should the world have this healthcare?
or this freedom?
or this "sustainable development"?
or this life?

I think the world could do without this shared experience. Most Cubans would probably agree.

June 13, 2007

shivers

Dreams fascinate me. They really do. I know I've mentioned that before. It amazes me that while you sleep, your brain comes up with these complex, and sometimes bizarre, storylines. Often they express our dreams, our desires, our fears, even ones that we try not to be aware of. Sometimes they seem to have no connection to reality, randomly jumping from scene to scene wtih no transtion. Fascinating.

This morning I had a dream that woke me. About two weeks ago I had one, as well. They were very, very different, though. I rarely dream about actual people that I know (expect when they are a sidekick on an adventure. you can wipe that look off your face now.). The last few times that I have, I've had the strangest, saddest dreams. The one two weeks ago was like that. I dreamed that for some reason I had to marry someone to save them from something. It was a name-only marriage, of course, but it meant that I had to give up the person that I really loved. It was really weird. Especially the dream-choice of who I really loved. I'm still pondering that a little. But I woke up completely freaked out at having to make that choice. Yuck.

This morning's dream totally creeped me out. I dreamed that I was sitting on the floor by a bed and watching a movie. My brother comes in in the last ten minutes and won't stop talking to me. I yell at him and so he leaves. Suddenly, I'm distraced by a weird shadow on the wall. I look up and there's this huge cockroach crawling around the light fixture (which was one of those hanging light bulb deals--weird). So I'm watching the bug crawl all around the fixture and I'm yelling for my brother to come get it when it falls off the fixture, floats in midair for a moment and then flies to land on my neck. I scream and jump up trying to brush it off. That's when I wake up. The creepiest thing was that I felt it crawl on me in my dream. Try to fall asleep after that. I definitely sat up and turned on the lamp and checked myself and the entire bed to make sure there wasn't a roach. And then I kept feeling things crawl on me. I hate that. So I'm thinking that some less vivid dreams are in order. :)

May 18, 2007

it's good when the sun shines on fridays

I know, I know. It's so long. I wanted to wait and see if I had more job news before posting again. I have an interview with the board on Tuesday night. I'm a little nervous. Mr. Dolan really thinks I can handle myself, though; that I'm fully prepared to answer the questions they'll have. He really wants to hire me. And that is fabulous. It's always good when your future principal is batting for you.

On a very different note, I saw a commercial last night that just floored me. I was so impressed by the subtlety with which an honorable goal was introduced. And I was even more blown away by the fact that it's a car commercial. It is the lates commercial for Saturn--a plug for their 5 hybrid models. This post isn't about hybrid cars, however. Perhaps I'll post some thoughts about that at a later date, perhaps not. This is about something very different and surprising in that ad. The ad centers around the word "Rethink," and features a series of different photographic shots: the first is presented with the word "Rethink" superimposed on the screen; then a second, opposing, shot is shown with "Rethink" followed by whatever concept you are to rethink superimposed. For example: picture of bodybuilder, superimposed "Rethink;" picture of Lance Armstrong winning, superimposed "Rethink strength." Even were it not for the opening shot, I find the commercial very artistically interesting. And the music is good. :)

But the opening two shots make this commercial. Shot one: the right fist of a black man, each finger holding a large, gaudy ring. Shot two: the left fist of a smiling black man, the third finger holding a wedding band. "Rethink bling." Now that's a commercial. It almost made me want to buy a Saturn.

If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing this add, here's the link:
saturn ad

April 23, 2007

more prayers; more prayers

Well, the phone call went well. We covered a lot, including my bane of classroom management. We talked about where I was when teaching there before, where I am now, where I would like to be. So, since the decision not to renew my contract was administrative, Mr. Dolan will be presenting the case for pursuing re-hiring me at the board meeting tomorrow night. Oh, the waiting...the waiting. Continued prayers are in order. I'm very happy that Mr. Dolan is pleased with the way our conversation went. He's completely behind me and will be completely behind me before the board. Praying. Praying.

pray pray pray

So I got a call from the principal of the classical school at which I worked a couple of years ago. They are looking for teachers for next year--including 5th and 6th grade which I taught before--and he wants to talk to me about possibly taking one of those positions. Guys--I was totally praying for this when I went to the silent auction a few weeks ago to show my face again. I really want this. I really want to be back in a classroom. I really love the school. I am really passionate about the classical model.

The things to pray for: that Mr. Dolan and I click (already on a good note since we're both Mac users); that when the issue of classroom management is addressed, it will be okay (that was the issue behind the non-renewal of my teaching contract, but the person leaning on that isn't there anymore and isn't Mr. Dolan); that I'm offered a contract for 5th and/or 6th grade (I don't really do younger grades). I really want this (I think I've said that already). I'm not ready to relocate, yet, and this is a perfect opportunity for me--it would be less money than I'm making now, but with much more soul-food. :)

April 18, 2007

grateful I can write what I please

Cuban journalist sentenced to 4 years in jail (UPDATED)
Oscar Sanchez Madan

Cuban independent journalist has been sentenced to 4 years in prison, on a charge of being a "pre-criminal social danger," an Orwellian law the dictatorship uses to silence its critics and other troublemakers.

In Sanchez's case, it means he must have been doing his job as a journalist too well.

According to news reports, Sanchez, 44, who filed stories for CubaNet and other outlets, was arrested Friday, and shortly afterwards convicted and sentenced by a judge.

The dictatorship is nothing but efficient, when it comes to silencing its critics.

News of Sanchez's imprisonment was released Tuesday.

The secret police had its eye on Sanchez for a while. In early March, independent journalist Roberto Santana Rodríguez filed this report for CubaNet:

HAVANA, Cuba -March 1 (Roberto Santana Rodríguez / www.cubanet.org) - Independent journalist Oscar Sánchez said police in Matanzas picked him up February 25, took him to the station, and confiscated papers he had on him for the story he was working on.
Sánchez called the incident a reprisal by the Department of State Security for recent articles he had written about social problems in Matanzas, most prominently on alcoholism, AIDS, drug-addiction, and corruption by a government official in the town of Pedro Betancourt.

Sánchez said several officers questioned him while he was detained. They asked him whether he is an independent journalist, what is independent journalism, and whether he had studied journalism and how much he is paid.

The Cuban government licenses journalists and does not consider the independents to be journalists.

By my count, Sanchez becomes the 31st independent journalist imprisoned in the gulag — and at least the fourth since acting dictator Raúl Castro assumed his "temporary" powers on July 31.

To read about the others, click on the names to the left, under "March 18 Project."

UPDATED, 12:53 a.m. EDT

Independent journalist Tania Maceda Guerra reports that Sanchez, also the spokesman for the Alternative Option Independent Movement, was tried and convicted, without a defense lawyer or his family present. A police official informed his mother about what had happened, but she was not permitted to speak with her son, according to Maceda's story.

But Cuba has "universal" health care, that must make everything worth it.

March 20, 2007

feeling derailed

Do you ever feel that you aren't where you thought you would be in life? That somehow the goals you had were set aside and forgotten? I feel like that today...well, the last few days...and it troubles me. And it isn't particularly that I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish by now, or a particular place where I wished to be, but there were things I loved--do love--that I thought I would be doing. Or at least have done, or working towards doing.

I've had this quagmire of thought before. This time it has struck with more force because of the band we met last week, and the blues singer they opened for at the fabulous House of Blues last Thursday. [pause for brief and shameless plug: Reeve Carney and the Revolving Band and Jonny Lang are both worth a good, long listen, guys. They are good.] Here's the thing: These guys are all under the age of 26. Even the exceptional Mr. Lang. All of them are doing what they love, and doing it very well. I, on the other hand, have done very little of what I love.

It's not that I don't know what's holding me back. I'm very aware that I'm so afraid. I'm terribly afraid of having doors slammed in my face, of losing just when I think I've almost accomplished a dream. I didn't used to be this afraid. Maybe part of it is cynicism, but then, I'm not sure when I became any kind of a cynic.

So I need to finish my story. I need to try and see if I can get it published. I need to take a step. You can't touch the stars of your dreams if you keep standing flat-footed, right?

And I really miss my car. A Dodge Caravan just doesn't go so well with my Yellowcard.

March 15, 2007

smash up

The worst sound in the world: phone calls at three a.m. It's so hard to believe it's been over a year. It still hits me every so often. If anyone ever calls me in the middle of the night for any reason other than dire emergency, they won't forget the consequences.

The second worst sound in the world (and the reason for this post): one car colliding with another. If that wasn't on my list of sounds that should be banned from radio commercials, it should be. It's a terrible, terrible sound. The first time I realized how awful that sound is I was not driving the car. My grandmother was. Some guy ran a stop sign and smashed into us. This time I was driving. In fact, I was a mere block from the office yesterday morning when it happened. I glanced over at a dump truck parked on the side of the road. I looked back to see a small minivan had stopped at the intersection about 100 feet from where I was currently cruising at 40mph. I hit the brakes. No. I didn't just hit the brakes. --small pause: here's what I should have done--tap the brakes and pull rapidly into the parking lot to my right.-- Here's what I did: slam on the brakes. Here's the problem: I don't have ABS. Here's what happened: the brakes locked and thanks to the fact that it had been raining all morning, there was no friction to stop the skidding car. --second small pause: here's what I should have done now--pull the e-brake.-- In the following 1.5 seconds of panic (there is nothing like the panic of knowing you cannot control your vehicle and you will hit the vehicle stopped in front of you), I did not have the time or the presence of mind to grab the e-brake. Thus, I plowed right into the back of a stopped red Mitsubishi minivan.

Cons: I felt so badly for hitting that lady. It was my fault for not paying enough attention and not reacting as well as I could have--as well as I have in other, more unavoidable, near-collision situations.
Cons: It was raining the whole time.
Cons: I couldn't stop crying.
Cons: My car is very broken.
Cons: See above.
Cons: My neck hurts a lot. I hope the lady I hit feels better than I do.
Cons: The hood of my car was crunched up to the front wheel wells.
Cons: The front of engine was angled back into itself in a manner relative to above.
Cons: I could get sued.

Pros: The lady I hit was very nice. Had she swooped out the car and been a witch-on-wheels, it would have gotten really ugly.
Pros: Her son was equally nice, and had recently been in an accident himself.
Pros: NO ticket was written. (Thank you BR City Police)
Pros: Full collision coverage.
Pros: Only a $500.00 deductible.
Pros: Great insurance agent.
Pros: Great body shop.
Pros: The only thing that hurts is my upper back and neck. It could've been so much worse.
Pros: No one hit me from behind.
Pros: Apparently., my hood is supposed to look like that after a front-impact collision. It did what it was supposed to.
Pros: My headlights were still working.
Pros: The other lady's car just had a dented back bumper, and her radio popped out of the dash. Maybe she won't sue.
Pros: If she does sue, I know a good lawyer.

So. My baby goes to the body shop today. I suppose I'll find out soon if it's "repairable" or not. Or if the repairs will be too much to make it worth it. I want it to be "repairable." After all, this car is paid for. I like that feeling. I don't particularly want to lose it. I like my car.

March 03, 2007

baton rouge drivers are generally morons

The following people should have their driver's licenses revoked:
*people who speed to the end of the on-ramp/merging lane, come to a complete stop, then expect one of the people who followed the road signs earlier to allow them in, glaring at people who do not.
*people who honk at the driver in front of them when said driver stops long enough to politely allow in a driver wishing to turn onto the road.
*people who pull across an intersection knowing full well they will never make it through do to the traffic and the fact that light is yellow, thus blocking off the entire intersection for all of the other cars until the next cycle.
*people who speed around cars that are slowing to turn nearly causing the death of drivers who were using that slow-to-turn in order to effect their own turn.
*people who speed directly up to your rear bumper and then flash their lights as though expecting you to move over even though it's absolutely impossible for you to move over due to the three cars and the 18-wheeler that are occupying the expanse of lane next to you.

The following sounds should be banned from radio advertisements:
*any and all emergency vehicle souns/sirens
*any and all collision sounds
*honking noises

Can you tell it's been a bad week for driving around here?

February 26, 2007

and the Oscar goes to...

So The Academy and Raul Castro agree on something:

Gore climate change Oscar entry has Cuba's vote
Mon Feb 26, 2007 12:36 AM IST
By Marc Frank

HAVANA (Reuters) - Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore doesn't know if his climate change documentary will win an Oscar on Sunday night -- but he has Cuba's vote.

Sunday's Union of Young Communist's newspaper reported acting Cuban President Raul Castro "recognized the effort of the former vice president to denounce" global warming during a two-hour meeting with youth leaders on Friday.

Cuba's official and only television media showed Gore's documentary "An Inconvenient Truth" on prime time this month and an update by Gore, giving the one-time presidential contender more positive publicity than any other U.S. leader in decades.

"Truth," a big-screen adaptation of Gore's slideshow lecture calling for urgent action to curb man-made greenhouse gas emissions linked to global warming, has been nominated for an Academy Award as a best documentary feature.

The nomination technically goes to the film's director and its producers, but Gore is the star and narrator of the film, which also profiles his efforts to raise environmental awareness. The book version of "An Inconvenient Truth" was published last year as a follow-up to his 1992 bestseller "Earth in the Balance."

Official praise of former U.S. presidents and vice presidents is rare in Cuba, which has considered itself at war with the United States since a trade embargo and other sanctions were slapped on the Caribbean island soon after Fidel Castro came to power in a 1959 revolution.

Defense Minister Raul Castro is second in the Cuban hierarchy after his older brother, Fidel Castro, 80, who temporarily ceded power to his brother in July.

© Reuters 2007. All Rights Reserved.

Interesting. Another reason I won't be watching it anytime soon. Sorry, Al.

February 06, 2007

The phenomenon we call “faery tale”

Why do faery tales appeal to us? Why do adults still remain fascinated by the stories they were told as children? Why do we continue to revisit them, both in their original forms and in amended and modernized forms?

Knowing many of those who read this blog personally, I feel fairly safe in hazarding, like several notable writers of both the present and past, that they appeal to us because the shadow the Great Story. They haunt us because they remind us that we are part of a Faery Tale ourselves. They offer us reminders of the hope before us. They pierce us with the possibilities that Hope is and the Hope finds us when we need it. But for all their hope, their joy, their haunting, faery tales are so often filled with a brutal edge. But then, life itself is filled with many brutal edges.

Why do ponder this? Because I am so impressed with a new faery tale.

Continue reading "The phenomenon we call “faery tale”" »

February 04, 2007

in the 1400s




The Paladin

You scored 23% Cardinal, 28% Monk, 61% Lady, and 67% Knight!

You are highly moral but also don't shy away from using force if your lord commands it. You are honourable to the point that you would readily sacrifice yourself for a noble cause. Your name will be the subject of tales and song for generations, however their concentration will be less on your deeds in life as on your martyrdom.


You scored high as both the Knight and the Lady. You can try again to get a more precise description of the Knight or the Lady, or you can be happy that you're an individual.








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Cardinal
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Monk
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Lady
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Knight

Link: The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

December 21, 2006

coming soon to a theatre near you

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah--bandwagon and all that...

IF YOUR LIFE WERE A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie.


OPENING CREDITS: Symphony No. 5: Allegro by Beethoven

WAKING UP: "Who'll Stop the Rain" by Credence Clearwater Revival

FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL: "Opening" from The Secret Garden (B'way soundtrack)

FALLING IN LOVE: "The Road I'm On" by 3 Doors Down

FIGHT SONG: "The Symphony of Blase" by Anberlin

BREAKING UP: "Daughters" by John Mayer

PROM: "Angel of Music" from Phantom of the Opera

LIFE: "Sarala" by Ceadmon's Call

MENTAL BREAKDOWN: "Jerusalem" by Matisyahu

DRIVING: "Proud Mary" by Credence Clearwater Revival

FLASHBACK: "Where the Sun Never Dies" by Blindside

WEDDING: "We Don't Care Anymore" by Story of the Year

BIRTH OF A CHILD: "Grim Goodbye" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

FINAL BATTLE: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake

DEATH SCENE: "Rain" from Jane Eyre (B'way Soundtrack)

FUNERAL SONG: "Remember When It Rained" by Josh Groban

END CREDIT: "Running Out of Days" by 3 Doors Down

I'm not really sure what to say about some of those; others I find fantastically cool. I must admit to skipping the Christmas songs. I hope that's okay.

December 18, 2006

haunting

I am currently baffled by the power of dreams. Why do dreams have so much sway on our hearts? I know this isn't always the case, but from time to time, don't you have a dream that just haunts you? Do you just have a dream that is so vivid, and touches on something so close to your heart, that you just can't shake it? I had a dream like that last night. I've been going through a spate of extremely vivid dreams lately, but they've typically followed my usual pattern of action/adventure dreams with an objective to pursue and difficult obstacles in the way. Not last night. Last night my dream was equally vivid, but oh-so-heartwrenching. It touched a personal struggle, a deep place of sadness/loss, so thoroughly that sitting here at my desk I'm having trouble concentrating. It's just playing in my mind, and I'm fighting a sorrow for something that didn't actually happen, but feels like it could have. Something I almost wish would happen, but would be utterly painful if it did. So today I ache with haunting,and I wonder why something I know is merely a dream, merely a fabrication of my own mind, can have such power over how I feel today. It's just a dream. Yet, it's more than that. And I just can't shake it. It hovers and replays in my mind while I'm trying to care about work. Do you ever have dreams like that? Dreams you just can't let go of, no matter what you do? Why do you think they hold us this way? Why is our own mind such a mystery?

December 13, 2006

transparency

So much is on my heart today. I have some thoughts to share, an explanation later.

My first thought is just gratefulness and admonishment. Now, those of you other marrieds, please don't feel slighted, but I haven't seen your marriage in action. I can't use you as my example. I just want to encourage you all to always seek transparency with each other, especially those of you who are ministry couples. And I want to chare my gratefulness to Kelly and Justin for always striving for this. Kelly and Justin are always open with each other about what's going on--and esp. in some certain situations where accountability was crucial, they have cultivated what's necessary to be accountable to each other. I appreciate that. I appreciate knowing that my dear friends take their relationship seriously and take the threats that face is daily seriously. I admonish all of you to do the same. Be open. And if something causes your spouse anxiety or concern, listen to them. Please do not repsond with defensiveness. Do not chalk their concern up to jealousy. Do not assume they don't trust you. Listen to their fear. Discuss their concern. Change your behavior to alleviate the anxiety. Please. Be accountable to each other in everything. You cannot rely other people to protect your marriage if you do not. You cannot rely on other people to respect your marriage if you do not. You, the couple, are your marriage's first and most vital line of defence.

My second thought is a slight rant. Growing up in the social circles I did, I was surrounded by a number of people who were part of the ATI/Bill Gothard phenomenom. People who dogmatically assert that dating is practicing for divorce and only courtship is the way of God. Now, don't get me wrong, I think dating in high school is a dangerous waste of time. I think dating is looking toward the goal of marriage. I think you should never date someone who isn't marriage material. I do not think, though, that following some certain plan labelled "courtship" is the cure-all. It is not a guarantee of a healthy, lasting marriage. It's not. In fact, believing that probably sets an automatic pitfall in your path. You cannot rely on a formula for marital success--not after marriage, not before.

So the explanation: last night my aunt called. My cousin-in-law, D, has left his wife, my cousin, K, and their four children for the divorced mother of one of the kids in his youth group. The situation started months ago when this woman painted a big target on D and began actively pursuing him as soon as her divorce was finalized. She was needy, she was alone, she needed support from a godly man. She needed to text message him at all hours of the day and night. Whenever K would try to talk to D about it, she was just jealous. She didn't trust him. Of course, she should have immediately gone to the pastor so this woman could be approached with the complete inappropriateness of her behavior, but K was afraid D would lose his job. D doesn't have a college degree, they couldn't afford to lose this job. So she didn't talk to anyone in the church about it. He did not place himself into a position of accountability with anyone. He did not protect his marriage. He did not allow his wife to help him protect his marriage from a brazen woman who knew but didn't care that he had a wife and four children. My feeling is that so much of this was set up by the situation in their last church. In their last church, D was the youth minister, K stayed home trying to make ends meet on a salary that qualified them for food stamps. They were not viewed as a team by the church or the pastor. The habits of separation planted the seeds for all of this to happen. If you are in a position to influence how your church views the ministers and their families, take time to work toward ensuring that they are viewed as a team, not as a pastor and then somewhere else is his wife. The more you separate your pastor and his family, the less you help him to be a strong part of an accountable team. Encouraging and uplifting your ministers means encouraging them to be transparent husbands and fathers. Do what you can to encourage that environment.

I'm just heartsick. My aunt and uncle are flying to Dallas today to see what to do. I certainly hope this church will deal with the situation as a church ought to, and not as many churches often do. Pastors, teachers, ministers--be careful: every day you are faced with dangers. Every day you are surrounded by people with emotional needs, by Bright Young Minds who entrance you by listening, by those who look up to you. Understand the need to protect by being accountable. Strive for a marriage that is an Environment of Grace and Trust where nothing is kept hidden; where there are no secret crushes or desires or thoughts that could crack the foundation. Be constantly aware that every opportunity for personal ministry, for helping a student or member to victory can be a danger to your marriage if you let it. This doesn't mean to wall yourself away. It does mean to make your spouse your confidant in everything. This will keep you from letting the wrong seeds grow. They grow fast--this whole K and D situation was less than 6 months. Please, please protect yourselves.

December 07, 2006

december 7

Usually I have a class to whom to read these. This year I do not. So, the internet reading audience gets to be my class today. A few years ago, I discovered a fabulous site called Eyewitness to History. I guess the name of the site pretty much explains why it's so fabulous. I made gratuitous use of it while teachign 5th and 6th grade history. And on Pearl Harbour Day. So. Use the links. Live the day with them.

eye witness at Pearl Harbour

Japanese pilot's view at Pearl Harbour

White House reaction to the attack

November 21, 2006

shadows in my heart

I don't really have a thoughtful post today. This is just a rather rare spillage post. I am feeling so down today. I don't really know why, although my very strong guess is that it's a hormonally driven down-ness. And I hate that. I hate that my emotions are in any way controlled by the balance of my chemical makeup at any given time. I hate that I am now going through my day trying not to be impatient with people who don't deserve my impatience because I'm a female. I hate that the most mundane things provoke me to tears for no reason other than my body is telling me that they are the end of the world. And the problem with this office job is that it is so much easier to drop the guard that keeps me from being the word that rhymes with witch when there are so few people around. In a classroom, there is enough distraction to survive the hormonal days. In this office, there isn't always. Probably I also need some sleep. Probably it would have been a better day had the headline this morning not been a story about an impatient teenager cutting off a school bus, thus causing the death of three of his fellow students. I've just had that on my heart all day.

I think I need the time to have a good cry.

November 16, 2006

just for fun--like stretchy pants

So after reading Jesse's blog, I usually check out the "Compacts" on the side. Maily because I'm a random information nerd. At any rate, I just had to post this one in case other people aren't so much into checking out the "Compacts." It's very, very funny. Our family favourites have always been #21, #33, and #35. We like #33 so much, we always love to point it out whenever we see it in a movie or t.v. show.

So go have a laugh on this Thrusday morning. And then take some time to enter the television discussion in the post below. :)

November 13, 2006

television and the short story

Thanks for the comments on my last post. Michael, I was glad for a little more historical insight than I had. I think both you and Jesse hit the central issue that people have when dealing with television: we have a avery visible reminder of who its sponsors are. That isn't to say that films aren't sponsored--they most certainly are, typically by whatever products you see artfully panned over in the course of the film--but where television is concerned, we can't really ignore it. I have friends who are severe movie fans, and who attend and perform in various and sundry stage performances, and yet fervently proclaim they "hate t.v." This has, more and more, come to seem to me as a false dichotomy. So here are my thoughts on the matter.

For centuries, entertainment and literary endeavours centered solely around the written word and the live performance of the written word. During those centuries, there were typically two types of literature: really long (epic poems, full-length plays, novels) and short (narrative and lyric poems, one-act plays, short stories). With the advent of the twentieth century a new form of entertainment was introduced: the radio. Radio then ushered in the age of motion picture technology and finally the television set. Somewhere along the line, film became an accepted form of artistic endeavour while television has largely, in America at least, remained marginalized. (Michael's comment on last post gives a great summary of one reason why) Typically the reasons given are that television is commercialized, that television writers are hacks, that television shows are shallow and don't tackle philosophical matter, that television characters are not well developed, that television is an artistic sell-out. My problem with every one of those arguments is that they can just as easily apply to any other artistic realm as well as they can apply to television.

Television is a commercial endeavour--it has to be. Without commercial sponsors, there isn't any money. The same is true for any other art form. Plays have corporate sponsors and advertising sponsors listed in the program. Broadway plays have pages of ads in their programs, yet they don't receive criticism for being commercialized. I would guess the reason is two-fold: it is already accepted as art, and we still have to buy a ticket. Movies, which are gaining acceptance as art--some film great enough to be labelled "classic" already--are also sponsored commercially. Previews are ads. That's not counting the actual ads that often play before the previews. Often, products are highlighted in movies--ever notice how many of the computers are Macs? How many people drink Coca-cola? Even visual art must appeal to buyers or the artist cannot support himself. All art contains a certain measure of commercialism if it is to be successful.

For the sake of space--and because the rest of the criticism are similar--I'll combine the rest as a single issue: Television produces a lower quality product that doesn't challenge the audience to tackle weighty matters. Here comes my one allowance of sarcasm: because all other art forms at all other times have always produced high quality pieces that constantly challenge the audience with weighty ideas. Sure. I've read Restoration plays--they make todays raunchiest sit-coms look prudish and high quality. Seriously. The fact is that all artistic and entertainment expression has many levels of product. Yes, some shows are ridiculous and come nowhere near the bar of "art." But the same is true for many novels, plays, even visual art works. That, to me, is no reason to throw out an entire genre as worthless. I understand that it is easier to pin the label "art" or "classic" on a movie because it's a single package--a piece of artistic communication that can be watched in a single sitting and evaluated. It is seamless, allowing a particular idea or event to be examined and weighed deeply at a single time. Television does not have that advantage. For that reason, a well-crafted television show, to me, deserves even more respect. Television writers have a shorter time-frame in which to present ideas and events while holding the audience's attention through commercial breaks. That is not an easy task. They don't have a huge screen on which to unfold their events which limits the awe and emotional attachment response that they can produce. And even with the advantages of working with film, how many films have you been to see with expectation that completely let you down? And how many films are just about creating some cheap laughs. The product is solely the result of who is producing it, not where it appears.

I am completely convinced that as we move more and more into an age of digital media, television, not just film, needs to be given credence as a legitimate art form. Not that all television will rise to the form of "art" or "classic" any more than all plays or novels will. If we accept the film as the digital equivalent to the novel, the epic, the full-length play, then I think we ought to consider the medium of television as the digital equivalent of the short-story, the narrative, the one-act play. If we can look at short stories as legitimate pieces of literature that have something to say, then why can we not accept television in that way? Frankly, much of what we consider "classic" today was written for entertainment; and in the cases of some novels, was even serialized with sponsors (Dickens...). I would not find it surprising if 100 years from now, television series were looked on in the same manner--as a 20th/21st century literary form. Don't get me wrong, not all television is good literature (Yes, Dear--ick), but some of it downright brilliant (The Office, yay). I just think t.v ought to be given the fair shake that most of us are more than willing to give to film.

Sorry, this is rather longer than I intended. Oh well. I'm not reading it. :) At any rate, I would certainly welcome some more thoughts on the matter. And perhaps what shows you think ought to be considered as future classics and why?

November 01, 2006

small tidbits of existence

I'm a very tired girl today. Frankly, I don't have anything much of import to share, but I felt that it had been so long since I had posted that I ought to post. I suppose I am posting due to guilt trip.

I wore wings yesterday. It was fun. Every girl should have a pair, just for fun. Like stretchy pants.

I have been fighting off a migraine since yesterday. I hate this. The fact that I am able to function makes people assume that my migraine isn't all that much, but it is. Mainly I'm just too obstinate to give in to the pain and the nausea. Also, I strongly appreciate the help of Excedrin Migraine.

I have a number of thoughts mulling around in my mind waiting for me to express them here. I haven't gotten that far. My brain is pretty much drained by the end of the day. One of the biggest differences I've noticed being a secretary as opposed to being a teacher is that I'm drained without the joy. Teaching is incredibly draining, but the students so often put a joy back into me that it's a good drained, a good tired. I don't get that here. I'm just drained. Usually, I also don't want to talk to anyone when I get home, either. I don't like that very much. When I was having a bad day as a teacher, I always got encouragement from students, sometimes words, sometimes hugs, sometimes pictures that said "I love you, Miss D." I miss that. I don't get any of that when I'm having a bay day now. I just have to suck it up and try not to be witchy. I don't like that. Oh well. I have just less than 6 months left. I can handle that. :)

One of the things that I'm ruminating on is television. I've been thinking a good deal about it because of comments people make about not watching television, hating television, television is low-brow, etc. So I started wondering: why? Why do some of the same people that will watch a movie and consider it a form of art, reject television out of hand? I will refrain from expounding on my position until I have more coherence and less nerve pain, but what do y'all think? Lest I ruffle any feathers, I am thinking of no one in particular, I'm just reacting to a collage of comments that I have heard or read or gathered--some from people I've never met--that started me down the path to examining what makes people dismiss the medium of television. Any answers?