A Day In The Journey

Here's what I have learned in the last few months--particularly the last month--God made me a teacher. I suppose I should clarify. I'm a very capable secretary. I get things done. I like typing and I'm pretty good at it. I've learned a lot about the civil judicial system and how to write legal documents. My heart aches at the thought of not having any students next year. The day after my last co-op I was so glad that Oscar came in late, because when Joann, the other secretary, asked me about it being my last class I burst into tears. Yeah. Mom thinks I might jsut be in withdrawal. I think she just likes the idea of my having a secure job with a guaranteed paycheck. It isn't that I don't like this job. I like it fine. The thing is, it's just a job. Teaching is definitely my vocation. This leaves me with various questions about what I should do with myself. At this point in time, I've agreed to work for Oscar until next May--it helps with the salary issue. So...do I look for another teaching job for 07 in another state? Or, do I apply to U of Glasgow for the MA in Dramaturgy? Or do I look for another teaching job in a University town and apply for PhD part-time? Or what????????????? I hate questions about the future. And I realize that none of these questions needs to be answered immediately, but I can't help trying to figure it out so I'll know what I'm doing. What I do know is that I am using my fairly nice salary to save up for the downpayment on a house wherever I end up. Sigh.
On a different note, on the last day of World Lit we watched almost all (I skipped some uneeded scenes due to time constraints) of Depardieu's Cyrano de Bergerac. I always forget what an amazing actor he is until I watch him again. Phenominal performance. And an amazingly beautiful movie. I only had one glitch, and it's so very silly. At the very end of the play, Roxanne doesn't say, "I have only loved one man, and now I have lost him twice;" and Cyrano says, "My panache" rather than "my white plume." I know, I know. The true word is probably panache, but I love that line. At any rate, one thing I adore is viewing a film in class and at the end, the students remark how great it is--they really liked this one. In English Lit, we watched Death on the Nile. that was a pretty big hit, too. A little depressing, but they definitley enjoyed the puzzle of it all. I thought it was a good end to the class because as a novel, it incorporates much of what British Literature--and the popular British novel--was int he Twentieth Century. And as an A&E film, it was a well-done adaptation. I have many thoughts and feelings that I want to write about this past year, my heart at another end to another school term, but I can't get them out right now. I think I need to reflect on it a little more.
New thought. My baby sister graduated high school. Wow. I think she's a little overwhelmed at the thought of life opening before her. But then again, aren't we all still at times? She's also a little...frustrated that she is graduating high school and no boys like her. I know that sounds shallow--but I think it's hard to reach a milestone like that and wonder why you can't find a guy that cares for you. It's hard for me to see. There is one guy in particular that she cares for, but he's having his own struggle right now that does not include noticing a friend. I wish I could help, but I know if I got too involved, I'd just stick my foot in it. Not helpful. And it isn't like I have all the answers. :) Ah well. I think she's amazing and beautiful. I'm so glad she's my sister, and that's she's winning in life.