i like simple things
Update: Well, circumstances (and bank balances) worked out such that I did turn in my signed contract. But with a view to the future. Now, I've got a goal and timeline, and off we go. Here's to getting a job in London for the 2012-2013 school year. Anyone with connections--I'm so all about using those. hahaha
Have you ever found yourself in the throes of a decision you didn’t know how to make? Where one choice is simple and direct and the consequences are easy to see, and the other choice is more like jumping off a cliff and hoping there’s a nice deep body of water underneath? I’ve got one of those right now. At least, it feels that way. And I hate it. The thing is that since last summer, England has owned a large portion of my heart. A big enough one that I’ve been surreptitiously applying for secondary English teaching positions for the past few months. I haven’t gotten a job, though, and now I’m down to a week (a gracious week given my incredibly gracious principal) to make a life-altering decision. I’m still holding out for that call or email that says, “Hey, come on over--we have a position just for you!” If I don’t, then I’m a bit stuck. Without a job offer, I’m left with the simple, direct choice--turn in my signed contract, work at Victory for another year, look for a teaching position for the 2012-2013 school year while saving the monies--and the cliff-diving choice--go to England anyway on the small fundage I have, get a temp job(s) while looking for a teaching position over there hoping that I get something so that I can qualify for a visa before my six months of “tourism” is up. And the thing is, I just don’t know what to do. I guess when it comes down to it, I like safe choices. I like things I can count on. I like the security of knowing I have something to go to rather than going to find something. And I’m afraid that if I go, it won’t work out and I’ll be jobless in two countries and regretting every minute of it. Perhaps being impulsive and risk-taking is just another word for foolhardy. But on the other hand, I’m haunted by the thought that staying another year is cowardly, that something will happen and I’ll never get to England, that I’ll regret it. Maybe doing the responsible thing is just another way of saying boring and cowardly. I guess either way, I fear regretting the decision I’ve made. This whole thing would be so much simpler if I get a surprise job (!) in the next week.
At any rate, all that venting just shows my serious dislike of making decisions. At least ones like this where the outcome of my choices are a bit more permanent. Would it be completely irresponsible of me to base my decision on a Magic 8 ball?